Dark Fools
by Grimsister
Summary: Co-written by DejaVu, A group of teens get sucked in to the world of the Dark Jewels. Will they live?? Will anyone else?? Do we care?? Yes!! It's US!!!!! Be afraid, very afraid! *Dramatic Backround Music*
1. In the Beginning...

_**Disclaimer:** We don't own the Dark Jewels (which were hardly even mentioned in this chapter, but will come later), we also don't own Dr. Pepper, Darts, Lisa Frank crap, or that funky song 'Trent' sings. Hm… we accept no responsibility for any injuries that may result from reading this fic, do so at your own risk._

**Dark Fools**  
In the Beginning… 

"This is all your fault, you and that book!" I hissed at her, somewhat upset by the situation that we currently found ourselves in. She glared back. 

"No it isn't! It's _his_ fault!" 

"Oh yes, terribly sorry," I immediately recognized the truth of her words. We turned as one to glare at the blond guy wearing all black who was spouting nonsense about what his gods were going to do to 'them' when they finally got around to executing us for _his_ stupidity. The 'Lord Righteous' was alternating his stupid tirade that was pissing off our guards even more than was absolutely necessary with begging Bambi to take him back so that he can spend his last moments with the 'comfort of having his only beloved in his arms'. 

"Ha, this is coming from the guy who called her an icy bitch?" Icia snorted disdainfully and moved protectively closer to Bambi who was studiously avoiding any part of the cell that he happened to occupy. 

Yeah it was all his fault. You see it all started like_** this**_…  


_*************************Flashback*************************_

_Whymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhyme?! Dear Lord what did I do to deserve this punishment?!_

"You have that 'why me?' look on your face. Oh come on it's not that bad," Mara said sotto voice, not noticing the furry shadow that approached her from the side. 

"Not bad? Excuse me while I rip off my own arm and bludgeon myself into unconsciousness so that I may no longer endure the agony that is known as 'DMing for the emotionally and mentally unstable" 

Suddenly a scream ripped across the clamor of our small group of 'adventurers'. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! YOU STUPID SATAN POSSESSED DEMONIC FELINE!!! DIE!!!" The incredibly disturbed blonde shrieked at an unnatural volume as she snatched up a spray bottle that said 'Sun Ripened Raspberries' in bright purple letters across the front. 

"Mara, get a hold of yourself!" Icia grabbed the popcorn bowl that Mara had nearly overturned in her haste to grab her weapon of assault. 

"Ah dude, you should get a band aide," Bambi said mildly. 

"Or a psychiatrist," I muttered softly. 

"OR A MEDIC! MY GOD WHY DOES THIS… THIS_ THING_ HATE ME SO MUCH?!" 

"Chill out Grimmara, it's just a cat." 

"It's your own fault, you shouldn't have touched his stomach like that," I defended my poor widdle Lucivar. 

"_Just_ a cat?! But it was just there! How was I to know he'd swear an eternal vendetta against my _very soul_?!" 

"Aren't we being jush' a lil' ltil', jush' a bit over dramatic here?" the slightly sloshed Jack slurred from his corner. 

"NO! _You're_ not the one who was just mauled by the maniacal furry ball of death! So if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean my_ **gaping** wound_!" She stormed out muttering darkly about 'just wait… kabobs'. 

"Sheesh, it was just a little scratch. Awww, who's my cweam puuuuff? You didn't hurt your poor paw on her hand you sweet thing, did you my poor cuddiwy baby?" 

"HA CUDDILY?!?! About as CUDDILY as _SEA URCHIN_!!! Try to hug it,_** NNYAAHH!**_ POISONOUS SPIKES!!!!!!!" Mara thundered from the bathroom, obviously still mildly miffed. 

"That is sssssooooo not fair! You know he wouldn't mind you if hadn't tried to jiggle his tummy when you first met him!" I defended my poor innocent baby. 

"He's really not that bad. He let's me touch him," Icia pointed out… helpfully. 

"It's just a fucking _cat_! No one gives a damn that you're having an ongoing feud with a _**cat**_!" Bambi called. 

"WELL_** EXCUSE ME **_IF I'M NOT GETTING STALKED BY A DEPRESSED BACKSTREET BOY WANNABE, WHO FLINGS ROSES AND BAD ALLEGORICAL LETTERS AT MY FEET!!!" 

_Whymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhyme?! AAAAHHHHH!!!!! The English!!_

I couldn't help it, I curled up into a fetal position on the floor muttering about walls and accidents and suddenly jumped up screaming, "AND SO MAY YOU ALL!!!!!!!" Naturally my friends realized I was having a repressed memory seizure from my time in the Nazi Death Camp, er, AP English and chose to ignore that. 

"Well if NotSo even tries to come over here I'm going to pound his face! Wait even better idea! If he tries to get you to go out with him again, agree on the condition that you can bring a 'friend' and then I can come. He really _hates_ me!" 

"WAIT! I KNOW!" Mara slid into the room dramatically and said as if suddenly struck by overwhelming inspiration, "If he comes over we should toss Lucivar at him! _OR_ drop kick him into his face!" 

"That's not even funny!" I protested on my innocent child's behalf. It wasn't fair that he couldn't even speak to defend himself when she kept insulting him. 

"Or if he bugs you again you can bring all of us, even Chance!" 

Jack stumbled over and tried to wrap an arm around Icia's shoulders comfortingly. He failed to notice the look he received from her which indicated that a) he was getting entirely too close for comfort b) the fumes were about to make her sick and c) he was about to loose body parts that are vital to his potential chance for producing offspring. 

"I know, we should all go to the movies and you two can hang over me and be like, 'Ooooh Jack, you're shooo shtrong and manly. Let ush go and have wildly passhionate monkey shex!" 

Four pairs of female eyes swiveled to settle on the black trench coated figure with all the warmth of an arctic blizzard. "Or not!" 

"Hey, where's the Dr. Pepper?" Jack was narrowly saved by the intruding voice from the kitchen. Trent was on a caffeine binge_ again_. 

"In the cooler!" I called out. 

"Cool, does anyone else want one?" Trent entered the room wearing a renaissance style black and green dress, belly dancing to a mental song that the rest of us thankfully didn't know… up until he started singing it out loud. "I think I'm cute, I_ know _I'm Sexy!" 

"Oh there he goes," Icia laughed. 

"He's at it again," Bambi rolled her eyes, before turning to glare at the stupid roses occupying a place on the coffee table, situated conveniently in front of the dartboard. 

"Yeah I want one," Jack said obliviously, still trying to cop a feel on Icia and earning a sharp smack upside his head. 

"Dej, he's going to stretch out your dress," Mara muttered when Trent danced back into the kitchen, still singing, "I've got the moves that really move 'em." 

"Yeah I know, but that dress just really looks good on him. Kind of brings out the color in eyes don'tcha think?" Icia joined the other girls in time to catch the end of the conversation. The four of us looked at each other and busted out laughing. 

"So like maybe we should start gaming now?" Icia said, grabbing her 6, count them I _know you won't_, characters from her brightly colored Lisa Frank notebook. 

"Yeah, but first I have to show you this book I picked up at the used book store. It looks really good. I've only just started reading it. It's like the third book but the story seems good. If I like it I'll go ahead and hunt down the rest," Mara, was staring at the cover as she spoke about her latest find. 

"Well, yeah, but what's it called?" I asked, getting exasperated with her rambling. 

"Queen of the Darkness." 

"Hm, hey that does sound cool, what's it about?" Icia looked up suddenly interested. Bambi was carefully aiming the bright green dart at one of the roses, but you could tell by the way that her head was cocked that she was listening. Jack was still pouting in the corner over being rejected _again_ and Trent was still dancing, but he was silent, indicating in his own weird way that she should continue. 

"Ok, well here's where I've gotten to, the point where there's this tiny spider chick who's telling off this other chick for wanting to go to war with weird chicks she wants dead for causing trouble, or something. I'm not really clear yet, but… " 

"Yeah, so what's the summary on the back say?" Bambi interrupted her. 

Grimmara grinned and started speaking in a cheesy announcer type voice, _"Jaenelle Angelline has made her Offering to the Darkness and reigns as the Queen of Ebon Askavi. The Shadow Realm lies under her protection. No longer will corrupt Blood slaughter her people and defile her lands. But where one door has been closed, another may be opened, or broke through-_

Suddenly there was a knock at the door interrupting her. "What the_** fuck**_ is it this time?" I demanded, annoyed that yet another gaming night was obviously going to get screwed up. 

Trent went to the door and flung it open, clearly very secure in his sexuality and willing to be seen in public in a dress. Standing there was the progenitor of our problems …_**Ray**_. 

We didn't think about it. We probably should have, but how were we to know what would happen? We all lunged for the offending creature that Bambi had once claimed as her boyfriend/ pet. What happened next was totally wild and completely unexpected… as you may have guessed from my previous statements. We all hit the door where he was standing at approximately the same time. Mara was still holding her book. And for some reason as soon as we all crashed together this really bright flash erupted out of nowhere. 

I felt this wrenching sensation and the world spun sickeningly. I heard the others cry out, but I couldn't find them as I spun through a sickening mix of colors. It was disturbing, like the room of a 60's reject or something. Then I hit the ground hard and I lost all my breath and this time the world was spinning for a completely different reason, i.e., lack of air. Everything went black.

  


_*************************End Flashback*************************_

  


Grimmara here. What? Deja said it started like _that_? It started like _**that**_?? I think not! …Well, she does have most of it right but she did get the most important detail wrong. That thing that she kept referring to as her 'widdle baby" was, is, or never will be any think remotely like that. Lucivar is a cat that if left to his own devices would, with out remorse, brutally overwhelm the world and crush it under his iron paw. He's like Pinky and the Brain, only with out opposable thumbs. 

Lucivar has on many occasions maliciously attacked me _without_ reason and I have been to the emergency room many times. See, Deja does not see the true evil that resides in her cat. However while she, and yes even Icia and Bambi, are fooled, Jack and Trent and I know better. But those aren't really good references. It doesn't matter. The point is that a cat with cute paws must never fool you; they will always end up scratching your eyes out. It also helps if you don't mess with their tummies when you meet them. I don't want you to be miss-informed. When I called Lucivar a Satan Possessed Demonic Feline I was being _mild_, that would be an _understatement. No matter._ I just thought that I needed to set the story straight. Other than that slight misunderstanding about the _real_ embodiment of true evil, the story is fairly accurate. 

* * *

Deja's A/N: Ok well that was interesting ne? It may not make sense now, but we're hoping to bring it all together in the next couple of chapters. And just to clear up a few questions that may have cropped up in readers' minds, like where we come up with this _crap_… well we do actually game and yes our 'Trent' (names are changed for no particular reason since we're all pretty shameless) _**does**_ walk around in my house wearing my dress (What can I say? It makes him happy). Sorry for any confusion and the actual Dark Jeweledness will come in the next chapter or so. 

Grimsister's A/N: Another thing, I was _not_ kidding! Deja really does have a demonic feline and _yes_ he does hate me with a passion greater than all the fires of the hell from whence he came. Well, yes, we also game and still get nothing done in our campaigns. Our 'Jack' does get drunk and hits on 'Icia', 'Bambi' does have an asshole ex, and, yes, 'Icia' really does hate him, as much as Lucivar (his name wasn't changed) hates me. Thanks for reading, and in the event that you go mad from trying to understand this crap, please remember that you were warned in the disclaimer. 


	2. Startling Discoveries...

**_Disclaimer_**: We don't own the Dark Jewels (which were hardly even mentioned in this chapter, but will come later), we also don't own DBZ or Vegeta* sob*, D&D or psicrystals that come from the character class Psion, , or Chibis! We make no money from this and we accept no responsibility for any injuries that may result from reading this fic, do so at your own risk.

**Dark Fools**  
Startling Discoveries…

A/N: First off words in _italics_ are Mara's thoughts. The words in // are Morwyn's thoughts/speaking. It'll get a bit confusing since Morwyn is Mara's alternate personality and they kind of clash on some things *cough*everything*cough*, but just stick around things will become clearer later on. __

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh wait this is not a laughing matter. You know since we were all about to _**die**_! Uh oh, Durgas, er Trent just turned into a Vegeta. Deja grew suddenly interested in the naked red Vegeta. I shook our head, forcing Morwyn's attention away from the nice specimen of male and turned around before she could get distracted. Misfortunately this put NotSo in my line of vision. 

I narrowed our eyes at the moron who had caused all of this, as we all agreed in the last chapter…

_Chibi SPLAT!_ Sorry, my therapy. I imagine people I'm really not liking and what kind of noise would make if they were chibi hitting concrete at very high speeds. Ray qualifies. _/Well if I'm going to die anyway…/ _

You are not hitting on Veg-, I mean Trent. It's **Trent** _for crying out loud! _

She shrugged acknowledging that it wouldn't be any fun to get involved with someone who might be a rabid walrus the next instant. So instead she sauntered over to the bars of our cell, casually loosening the laces on our blouse and began to tug our top down until it strained across our chest._ What in the name of **Hell** do you think you're doing?! This is what got us in here in the first place! _

/No it's not! /

**Yeeaaah**_… it is. _

/No. You are sadly mistaken. It was you with your sad pathetic little life that got us here!/ 

Yeah and hitting on the guard will help us so much. And it was NOT! Let's review this shall we? In the first place…

*************************Flashback************************* 

I woke up groaning from the pain in my head. It had obviously connected with a sledgehammer, or you know, Ray's head. Same amount of density really. I had to blink in the light. _Light? It was nighttime, wasn't it? _

/No, **genius**. It has been proven time and time again that if the sun is up then it's not night. /

Who the hell are **you**?!

/You know what a better question is? Who the hell are** you**, and why are you in my head?/ 

In your head?! Hello this is** my** head! 

/Shyeah whatever. I would be rolling my eyes if I could control my body. NOW GIVE ME BACK MY EYES **BITCH**!/

Excuse me? Who are you calling a bitch you skank! 

/SKANK?! Oh no you didn't!/ 

I believe I just did! What are you going to do about it** skank**? 

This… this person raised my fist threateningly._ /I'll show you what I'm going to do **Bitch**!/_

"Hey!" I said ducking._ Wait a minute! If I'm in this body and you're in this body, won't you just be punching yourself?_ Of course by this time the other people that I hadn't noticed before because they were unconscious on the ground had started to wake up and were watching me, um us, with interest. The other voice in my head and I were distracted when I suddenly felt a sharp stinging in my calf. 

"NYAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, WHAT IS _HE_ DOING HERE?!?!?!?!" I said calmly and with great dignity considering the circumstances. 

_************************* End Flashback************************* _

"/Don't let her fool you she was yelling her head off! Hehehehe!/" 

"Shut up Morwyn I didn't ask for your input." 

"Um are you okay Mara?" Deja asked me, eyeing me in a concerned fashion. 

"I don't want to talk about it!" We snapped back. 

"Suit yourself dude," Bambi shrugged. 

"Bambi if you don't take me back and heal the black rose that the lack of sun that your being gone from my life has caused then I will be forced to commit suicide!" Ray pleaded pathetically. 

All of my friends looked at each other before looking at Ray. Then they all rushed to my, or rather Morwyn's original destination banging on the bars and shouting at the guard. 

"Quick! Give him a knife!" 

"We'll give it right back! We_ promise_!" 

"We'll even help!" 

"Yeah it won't take that long!" 

_Now to get back to where I was before I was so **rudely** interrupted…_

*************************Flashback************************* 

The voice demanded, "/What on Earth is _**that**_?!/" 

"That my dear is a furry spawn of Hell. _DIE!_" 

"Excuse me?! You don't have your 'Sun Ripened Raspberries' this time, so ha!" I heard Deja's voice behind me where she was de-latching that fur ball of _**DEATH**_! However when I turned around I was not greeted by the smirking countenance of my friend, but the smirking countenance of a total stranger. 

"AAAHHHH!! Deja what the hell happened to you?!" We, I, demanded. 

"The same thing that I imagine happened to you," she responded in her dry, _rational_ voice. 

"WOW! Check out my cool clothes!" Icia squeaked. Naturally I turned to look and saw a blue haired chick wearing a skimpy belly dancing outfit and spinning around trying to get a good look at herself. 

_/She's like a dog trying to bite its own tail…/_

Yeah, she's frequently like that. 

"Oh wow look at me, IIII'm a demigod!" 

Four pairs of female eyes settled on Jack in annoyance. "Or _**NOT**_!

"Hey, um I'm naked. Does that bother anyone else?" Trent asked uneasily.

"Not at all," I, or rather the other voice purred. "Look at it this way, you've got the equipment, just not the clothes. Not that you need any. They'd just detract from that gorgeous red color," she said eyeing him eagerly. 

"Um I'm running away now." Trent dived behind a nearby bush.

"Mara? You look uh, different," Icia observed. 

"What do you mean by that?!" I demanded jerking control back from the rather randy 'other voice'. 

"Weren't you blonde before?" 

"Aren't I blond still?" I asked after a brief pause. 

"Actually your hair looks distinctly dark blue," Deja stared at me. "And you have pointy ears," she added. I reached up and felt my ears._ AAAAHHHHH, MY FUCKING EARS!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THEM SKANK?! _

/Hey I've always had pointy ears. And let's get one thing straight my NAME is Morwyn. M-O-R-W-/

"Hey, check me out," Bambi added, inadvertently interrupting as she looked down at her own robe-enshrouded figure. 

"DON'T TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF! DON'T TAKE ANYTHING OFF!" Deja suddenly screamed. "No one move!" she added in a slightly calmer voice. She turned to stare at the bronze armored figure struggling to rise from the ground. 

"_You_!" she hissed at the prostrate figure. 

"Um, Deja? That is you right?" 

"Yes, it's me Mara. In fact it's all of us. And guess what that is?" 

"A bronze work that sprouted appendages?" I took a guess. 

"_That_ is a Lord Righteous." 

_"/What is that? A species of bug life?/"_

"Close enough. It's the reason we're here now. Well what have you to say for yourself mister?" She demanded. 

"So, yeah…" The naked red elf like dude who spoke with Trent's voice said, "where exactly is here?" 

"Let's deal with one thing at a time and right now, dealing with NotSo has my attention," Deja's new body growled. Lucivar twisted his body around and added his glare to that of his Mistress in a very uncanny manner that started to freak me out. 

"/I say we Bhunda him to death!/" Morwyn suddenly announced. 

"Ewwww! That is totally sick and not even _Jack_ deserves to have to do that!" Icia exclaimed, horrified. 

_/It was just a suggestion./_ The self proclaimed Morwyn muttered to me. 

"Hey, you guys should know I have a voice in my head who's calling herself Morwyn. Oh wait! That's my character!" 

"No shit Sherlock," Trent/ Naked Red Elf Dude stated mildly, his head popping up over the bush before he dissappeared from sight once more. Morwyn began to 'subtly' edge our body closer to the bush. 

"Keep digging Watson," Deja responded sweetly. 

"_Children_. Behave. I'm just guessing here, but I do believe that it applies to all of us," Bambi pointed out what everyone else had grasped, or were beginning to grasp... 

"But why do I have my character in my head?" I demanded. 

"Does that mean if we killed Ray, excuse me _Lord Righteous_ that no one would miss him?" Bambi asked at the same time. 

While Icia piped up in a disgustingly childish voice, "Why are we in our characters' bodies?" 

"Who cares? IIII'm a demigod!" Jack proudly announced. 

"That was a flaw of your character after she drank the whimsy wine that she would have a another voice in her head, apparently, _you're_ it Grimara! Bambi… probably not, but since we can't be sure we probably shouldn't have anything directly to do with his death. I'm not sure Icia. For the last time you weren't a demigod in the game, you aren't a demigod now, _Jack_!" Deja practically shouted and a bush behind her burst into flames, revealing the vulnerable fire elf god of love. The jewel around her neck started to glow as a shocked gasp emanated from its depths. 

*That wasn't nice at all! You haven't been nice since you been here. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? *

"Not really. No." Deja picked up the glowing jewel from her chest and held it up. The demon cat- I mean Lucivar, started to bat at the hapless talking jewel from his perch in his mother's arms. 

"Oh, you must be my psicrystal right?" 

*Of course I'm your psicrystal. Madame contain that creature! Please! * 

_It's going to be a long day… _

************************* End Flashback************************* 

This is Deja. Yeah, all right. This is a fairly accurate description, if you call using every opportunity to_** SLANDER**_ poor innocent animals. My baby is _**NOT**_ a fur ball of Death, a Satan possessed demonic feline, or spawn of Hell for your information! She just happens to bring out the less pleasant aspect to his nature is all. She starts it almost every time. Frankly I'm finding her constant bashing of my kitty really tiring. There's a reason he doesn't like her you know. She started it all. SHE touched his tummy and violated his personal space and thereby messing up his karma. HE takes that sort of thing personally. I mean wouldn't you? 

Of course on the other hand, it was a good thing she explained what was happening. I mean I can't think of way to explain that one of my best friends has suddenly acquired an extra personality. Seeing what was going on in her head was helpful wasn't it? Well… at least it was interesting… um, yeah. Anyways, unless you somehow missed that from the rather disjointed conversation, hehehe, we somehow got transported from our regular time into some weird place and we found ourselves inhabiting the bodies of our characters that we use when we game. Weird huh? 

Well, that's pretty much what she was trying to get across at any rate… If you think that's wild, let me tell you, if gets better. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Thanks for Reviews

Icia: We thought you'd like it dude! Thanks for dropping us a line and it's a shame you know exactly what we're talking about. Noone should EVER have to see this kind of behavior firsthand... ^_~

Raksha: We're slowly working towards the Dark Jeweledness. And about the whole starting with the last book thing... well we would have started with the first but we had a very logical reason since we wasted 15 minutes discussing which book we should start with. Thanks for the review, Dark Sister. 


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